It’s a Monday morning, I mean the usual Monday mornings where you need everyone on your team to be at work early because you’ve planned tasks to execute.
One of your key team members is running late, she has a key role to play in this task; You’re visibly upset because you reminded her on Friday how important it was that she arrives early to work.
You call her very annoyed, asking where she is , she mumbles an apology and informs you that she’s almost at the office.
There is so much anger you can express on the phone but there are pressing matters at hand so you choose to focus on that .
She eventually comes in , your angry face is very obvious, she sits by you, you’re ready for the explanation because this tardiness is unacceptable. You wait for the explanation, ears cocked , it’s not forthcoming so you turn around to look at her and then you see that she’s crying, silent sobs because she doesn’t want to draw attention to herself.
You ask the obvious questions: is everyone ok at home ? You do the roll call of her key family members. She nods yes to your questions indicating they’re fine. Ok so what’s wrong ? Any attempt she makes at answering the question brings more sobs.
You leave her to cry hoping after about five minutes she will be ok to either talk or get to work. 20 minutes later and the situation hasn’t changed .
So I ask her : would you want to go home? She’s taken aback by the question but I can’t fail to notice the look of gratitude on her face and nods YES!
Would you want me to make transportation arrangements for you? She nods yes and I set about doing so for her.
Car arrives and she makes her way out of the building.
Why did I let her go home ? Instead of asking her to snap out of whatever was making her cry ? Why did I not insist on knowing what was wrong with her ? Probably even force it out of her?
Here is the why …
-
She’s one of my star performers, hardly given me reason to question her work ethics so if for a reason or the other she was late, yes I had every reason to be upset but I needed to acknowledge her consistency here.
-
She wasn’t going to be ‘useful’ or productive to me or the organization in the state she was in on that Monday morning so why keep her at work ? And asking her to put on her big girl pants and snap out of whatever was troubling her would have been extremely insensitive on my part.
Empathy is described as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. You don’t even need to have been in same or similar situation but you must be able to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling.
Therefore as a leader you need to cultivate empathy and compassion, a very key skill which helps you navigate your leadership role successfully. It’s a soft skill which you add to your hard skills.
Yes targets needs to be met and tasks must be completed but never at the expense of compassion. You cannot win or succeed this way.
She returned the next day extremely grateful for the empathy shown which preserved her dignity in the work environment.
She is back to her star performance self and has been giving me 💯.
Do I know what was making her cry ? Nope!
Am I interested in knowing? Absolutely NOT! If she wanted me to know , she would have volunteered to tell me herself. If she decides to tell me one day, I would be all ears but till then I will drink water and keep minding my business.😃
“Empathy
Is Seeing with the the eyes of Another,Listening with the ears of Another ,
And feeling with the heart of Another.”
Ps: my proofreader is gone on sabbatical again so kindly pardon all errors and mistakes .
This post was actually written on the spur of the moment on my LinkedIn but felt it’s too good to leave it there alone, you my darling readers must enjoy this too. 😘
So what do you think?
Ever experienced a compassionate gesture from someone higher above you that left you utterly grateful?
Or has someone shown you empathy that got you thankful?
I would love to hear from you so please let’s talk in the comments section, share your thoughts and experience.
Everything sugar , spice and sweet
AB
