My mother ordered fresh fish from her regular vendor to be delivered to us.
This was the third time she was buying from them so they knew the type of fish she preferred and how she wanted it.
The fish was delivered in her absence so she couldn’t inspect to see if it met her requirements.
When I took it out of the freezer on the day I was ready to use it, I realised to my shock that not only was the fish nothing like what we preferred and had specifically asked for, it had also not been gutted and cleaned as desired!
We were obviously not getting value for our money!
I was visibly upset because I felt we had been short-changed.
I informed my mother of this development and asked her to contact the vendors and get the fish to be replaced with what we’d asked for. But she was reluctant to do this.
She wanted us to look at ways we could utilise the fish, like taking it to the smokers! Really!
Or ‘manage it’.
I insisted that we ask for a replacement and not try to work around it, because, not only had they not kept their end of the bargain, we would also be setting bad precedence by letting go and accepting it.
Of course, I made her contact the vendors for a replacement! For the right fish! Gutted and cleaned!
This incident got me thinking about the generational gaps in dealing with issues and when we choose to compromise or not. Especially in relationships.
My mother’s generation believes in working it out even when the other party has broken their end of the bargain or shown not to have acted in good faith.
They believe in finding ways around ‘it’ by giving second, third and fourth chances even when the other party has repeatedly ‘shown themselves’. They don’t believe in ‘throwing away the baby with the bathwater’!
My generation on the other hand is the non-tolerant type; we believe in cutting people off especially when they’ve chosen not to ‘act right’.
We don’t do second chances. We believe that if you tolerate bad behaviour, it festers and becomes something beyond your control. So why try to ‘manage it’? Nip it in the bud at the first instance.
They call us the ‘Indomie generation, or the popcorn generation’, and all kinds of names that suggest we are fast-paced and impatient.
I have a different opinion!
I think we’ve grown up to see how tolerating excesses from people messed up our parents’ generation, especially in relationships that drained them emotionally, financially and mentally.
So we don’t want any part of that. We just want to be unapologetically selfish, and live for ourselves.
But this may seem problematic. Because no one is an island and we all need people, one way or other. So living unapologetically and selfishly presents a problem.
However, we live in a society where people love to abuse boundaries if you fail to enforce them. So defence mechanisms need to be put in place.
I believe in balance. A bit of my mother’s generation and a bit of my generation when dealing with issues, people and relationships in general.
I give second chances but I don’t enable bad behaviour. So I will cut you off if, after persistent conversations, you still engage in the same bad behaviour
What do you guys think?
Where do you lean?
How do you see these generational gaps?
Let’s have a conversation in the comments section.
PS : the fish vendor came for the fish 6 days after we had voiced our displeasure and had asked for the replacement despite repeated calls and reminders.
Everything sugar spice and sweet
AB
