Period stains are embarrassing for any woman no matter how secure she is in herself!
The furtive looks, the uncomfortable whispers and the hurried attempts to rush you off in order to get you clean, these are but a few of the remedies we make when we’re stained.
But I have always wondered, why should this be the case ?! Why should we be ashamed or be made to feel shame for something that happens to us naturally?
Almost all stains are treated dismissively and not given much attention but a dot of period stain is like a taboo and you’re made to feel like you have offended the 99 gods of Oguaa (Cape Coast).
Now here’s the thing , no matter how careful you’re , period stains can happen because periods are incredibly unpredictable!
Now here’s the thing again and that’s my opinion, I don’t get the fuss or I don’t think there should be that much fuss about period stains, we should treat it same as getting tea or oil stain on you : dismissive and not with much apprehension such as period stain .
But it seems and this is not even limited to Africa, it’s a world problem. Period stains gets both men and women going into hysterics, feeling of second hand embarrassment and ultimately an attempt to shame you for an accident you really have no control over .
See this picture? Does it offend you ? Did you recoil at it ?
image by @rupikaur_ on Instagram
The image of the menstruating girl was part of a photo-series Rupi had put together for her college course. The project sought to show the difference between images of objectified and abused women, and those in their natural state.
Yet it was reported and removed from Instagram – TWICE – for apparently contravening their guidelines.
I have had my fair share of period stains but I’m quite indifferent about it so I don’t feel the shame and horror most women feel about it (which you shouldn’t really) , however people around me do the most when I’m stained so I have to put up an appearance of worry too 😒.
Now this came to head last month (August) when I went out to lunch with someone I was meeting physically for the first time.
I knew Aunty flo was out in full force . I really wanted to avoid stain so I wore a tampon, a Yazz pad (because it’s thick ) , grandma pieto and undershorts because fortification after fortification 🤣.
We were having lunch at a place that served buffet so lots of getting up; I went for starters, then 1st main without any hustle. When I got up to go for the second helping, three of the staff quickly rushed to me, alas ! What I had tried so hard to avoid had happened! I felt frustration more than shame because what the heck ! And it was even just a dot so why the fuss?! I figured it must be that the pad was soaked reason for the leakage so went to get a new pad with the hope that all will be well with the world again.
Well , Aunty flo said hold my leakage, going for the 5th helping or so (don’t say ei, lmao 😂, there’s a method to making sure you get your money’s worth eating buffet, would do a thread on it on twitter), this time about 5 people rushed on to me (I was honestly alarmed)! From the dot , the next stain was now a whole red patch , jeez so tampon , pad, grandma pieto and even shorts couldn’t prevent this leakage? You know the weird thing, I wasn’t even bleeding heavily .
I was honestly over it ! This was me meeting someone for the first time, having a great conversations, great ambiance, good food and I couldn’t even enjoy because of period stain, an occurrence I had tried so hard to avoid and look at it ruining a perfect date ?!
To his credit, my date didn’t freak out, he handled it with aplomb and for that 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for him (not saying he deserves a medal but he was very matured about it as he should be)😄
Me I told everyone to leave me alone and see it like a normal stain and ignore it because no way I was going to be stuck in my seat and not eat because of a stain, they were uncomfortable, I wasn’t !
Period stains happen , deal with it ,period!
Women go through so much during our periods: diarrhea, farts, extreme abdominal pains, breakout, headache, fever , bloating, loss of appetite and the list goes on, we can’t add policing of stains to it, it’s very ridiculous and absurd!
In the words of Rupi Kaur after her picture was deleted twice by Instagram : “Thank you Instagram for providing me with the exact response my work was created to critique. ‘You deleted my photo twice stating that it goes against community guidelines.’ She goes on: ‘I will not apologize for not feeding the ego and pride of misogynist society that will have my body in underwear but not be okay with a small leak when your pages are filled with countless photos/accounts where women (so many who are underage) are objectified, pornified and treated less than human.”
On Twitter last year, there was a whole conversation about period stains and this man (yes a man ) who opined that “a woman ought to feel like a failure if she stains herself during her period”. Of course there were women in his replies agreeing with his stupid take 😏
You wanna feel embarrassed about nature ? Go ahead but not I , I’m done with it ! There are bigger issues in this world .
I know it will take some time or never but please can we start one person at a time? Can we see period stains as something not to be embarrassed or shamed about?
Now let’s talk, ladies , what’s your stain story ? Are you also hit with a wave of shame when you’re told of a stain ? And why ?
Men do you feel second hand embarrassment when you see the stain ? and why ?How have you acted in the past ?
Please lemme know in the comments section.
PS: do you know even in choosing a picture for this post, I had to be political and also try not to be offend the sensibilities of whoever? so in as much as i want to be freedom fighter, lool, i still bowed to covert societal pressures!
PS: as usual would be very grateful if you could share to your family, friends and on all your social media platform, this is a great conversation we must have.
Everything sugar, spice and sweet.
AB
